Confused society

We live in a confused society. There are lot of things which we have accepted from the society, which does not make any sense or at least are not rational. But we never realize those things either for the reason that we think it’s meant to be that way or we don’t bother ourselves on these little things. But the fact is, those little things make the basis for  change. A long journey begins with a little step.

Few things that I am going to mention here. It really makes me think why our society acts this way. Why we “prefer” to be like others and don’t like to be ourselves?

• Few days back, we friends went to a shopping mall. It was Sunday and only “families” were allowed that’s why the  guard stopped us from entering the mall. I asked for the reason and he said only “families” were allowed, we said okay. At that very moment I saw a father with his son about to enter the mall and the guard stopped him as well, for the same reason. Now this thing made me curious. I asked the guard, why is he not letting them in. He said only “families”. I said he is with his son. “sorry sir, there is no female with them”. I said, “so when you say family, you mean there should be a female in the group”. He nodded. I asked, “you mean if a guy comes with his GF then it’s perfectly fine since there is lady in the group”. He nodded again. All this made me think that our society has itself imposed the concept of girlfriends boyfriends indirectly, and at the same time they oppose it. Hypocrites!
• The second thing about our society. Obsessed. Obsessed to be like westerners. Obsessed to love western or any other culture but our own. One of the things I would like to mention here: If either a company or brand name is written in English, we call it cool but if the same name is translated in Urdu, we will never like it. For example, all of us believe “Honda” is a nice brand and it’s name is “cool”. Honda was the “name” of the guy who started this company. Now consider a local guy, named “aslam” uses his name as a brand name “aslam motors”, how many of us will consider it as cool as “Honda”? Consider other names as well. “Stallions” -> “Ghoray”.

These are only few examples. I don’t want to write in detail since it’ll be lengthy, but the theme is quite clear here. Why don’t we try to portray our culture, our “own” society and try to change the “wrong” things penetrated in our society? Why we care to do things just because our society “likes” or “want” those things that way? Why we think about society before making any decision about our personal or family life? We really got to think about this.

One of the things I would like to mention here: If we read some English simple name of company or brand we call it cool and if the same name is translated in Urdu or there is something like that. We will never like it

cloud of my thoughts!

For the first time, I am going to force myself to put something on this canvas otherwise i’d have to face consequences. Right now, I am in no where. I mean, i don’t know where to start and what to start. My mind is always filled up with gazillions of thoughts, hundreds of my own self made philosophies towards life and few pranks . But at the moment, I am just trying to find a head start for this blog entry and then I’d have to ponder upon it to decide some title for it .

Last night, I had one of the weird mood swing. I don’t know why, just out of no where, I started feeling bad, bad for nothing but i was like “I want to cry”. I want to run away, I want to quit everything and fly somewhere where there is nothing like mundane around me. My this post is going to be some random things about myself which might be connected or might not be. But as a whole, you can say it this post is going to be about “me”.

I am a complex being. Sometime, I really wonder who am I. At one moment you may find me as a social animal, who loves to party, who love to being around with friends. Making fun and enjoying things and on the other hand, you might find me as someone who wants to be alone and silent, always! I am one of those people who want to have someone, at least someone, always around him or always being connected but i don’t find anyone around me, anymore and i don’t want to act like someone stupid waiting for someone (I am not writing some fairy tale). I can live my own.

Things had made me realize, that through out our life we are waiting for big moments of happiness and we always miss small moments just because of we are expecting and waiting for something big (no doubt size does matter ). I bet a lot, not for the reason that i am a gambler but for the reason that i don’t want to “wait” for some big moment so that we friends can gather to have some time together. I just bet, to make some event to have sometime together and sometime i just bet even though i know that i am going to loose, for sure but yet i bet. For me the people and the moment matters which would be the result of this bet but for people “money” matters which they are going to loose or win on this bet. Don’t worry, I have quit this habit now.

Yes, I am one of those person, who don’t want to go with the flow of life. It’s either that I struggle hard before i give up or i really change the things to my favor (with God’s Will). There are 2 things that i believe a lot, Allah and my struggle. I am one of those guy who will even try for that thing about which I am 1000% sure that i am not going to get it, but i’ll try, for the reason that in my life i don’t want to have the word “I wish : کاش” i’d have tried for this at that time. There is nothing like “I might have won it”. There is always “either i won it or i loose it”.

I talk a lot. Talk for no reason, argue for no reason. I argue not for the reason that i have to prove myself best or i have to prove that no one can beat me. I argue because i just want to talk and if i really have something else to talk then i don’t argue. You may say me a hypocrite sometime (which i am not), for the reason that at one moment in some group i might be supporting and defending one side and at some other time and in some other group i might be against this side. It’s not that I don’t know at which side i am (i am always pretty sure about my views and my decisions) it’s because that I just want to know the other side of coin.

There are still a lot to write which i’ll write in follow ups to this pots. Adding more text to this post will definitely make this one a sleeping pill for you . See ya around, hopefully i’ll get sometime for it’s followups (someone going to push me again to write it – hopefully :$).

People I hate the most

I am one of those guys who can be friends with anyone, without any discrimination, except for those who have these 3 specific qualities in their nature.

1. A person, who have “I : میں” in his nature. Someone who is proud, has attitude and he shows this attitude to me. If he is friend of mine and he brings his self among the “friendship”, literally I can not bear him. I don’t understand why don’t such people think that who they are and what are they trying to portray of themselves? I mean, if i compare myself then i am no less than anyone among my circle. I had been excellent in academic, Won silver medal, studied what i wanted with good grades, proved myself professionally and living a life that people desire to live. Even then, I never proud of myself. I really have to think “What should i be Proud of?” For my success; which lasted for sometime and now no one remembers it except me. For my smartness; which people say that i am but how long will this last, 1 year, 2 year or 10 year. For my achievements; which is again not an ever lasting thing. Reason for writing all this isn’t that i am pessimistic, I am just one of creatures of God and I know that if He has bestowed upon me something then He can take it away from me as well. I am always dependant on Him. If i know that I am always dependant on Him then Why should i be proud of and for what should i be proud of?
2. A person, who gives more importance to materialistic things than the bond he shares with someone. Someone, who always thinks about money before the bond. I hate such people whose sole purpose of this life is to earn, to save. Who count the importance of person for the fact what he is earning or at what position he is at. It sounds non-practical in my nature but i believe in it. I believe that If you believe in God and He has pushed you into some difficulty then he is going to arrange solution for you as well. Then why live a life in thirst of more and more money and not spending that money for those who are needy.
3. A person, who does not respect the other for the reason that they are older to him or they are also humanbeings. Rather, he treats him on the basis of position they are at. i don’t know why these people think that if the other person is sitting at the office door, in hot weather and you are sitting in a room under an imported AC, should be the only reason of behaving harshly with them? The greatness of a human being isn’t in respecting others who are at a higher level, but the greatness of a human being is in respecting someone who is at a lower level than themselves.

It might take you long to be at some good level before me but it’ll take just a moment for me to start considering you among those whom i don’t care of,  if you possess any such qualities .

I am on my own now

I hate to be alone. I really hate the time when I am sitting all alone, doing nothing except thinking. Which I can never control. My brain is thinking like 24/7 on different things which depends on the situation I am going through. Just few moments back I read something somewhere which grabbed my attention towards myself, yeah! That made me to think what I was and what I am now. Totally different person.

Raised in a small town, lived a fun full life with *friends*. For me, friends were like heavenly given gifts. You can trust them blindly; you can tell them everything that you want to, you can rely on them like you rely on your own shoulders. They are like mirror to you. I read somewhere that the number of friends a person has tells how good that person is. I always used to think that I am some angel; I have a lot of friends. Yeah, I was angel – at least I used to think unless I realized that how wrong I was.

It feels like as if someone is grinding you when someone really close to you break your trust; once and then again and again . You sometime starts ignoring some arguments not for the reason that you are lacking in words or you don’t have enough points to defend yourself. You stop arguing or talking just for the reason that friendship you shared is still that important that you don’t want to ruin it by giving it harsh words. Keeping silence seems to be best option at the moment but it results in a comment from next person “that you are always wrong that’s why you are silent at the moment”. Would not this comment make you think that this person was *ever* been your friend?

Yes, I have realized that what friendship is and I have realized what kind a person is worth enough to be a friend and all the rest, don’t make a difference to me. Not at all. Yeah, that’s me who always longed to have chit chat with others, who always longed to have fun but now the only thing that I like to do is to have a little smile on face and long lasting silence. Yup, I am changed now. I have realized how to live among such people. I have lost myself among them. I act like someone else just for the reason that I can keep the pace and should not let them enough close to me that I start trusting on them *again*. I don’t want to be dependent on such selfish people. I don’t want to dependent an anyone … … AT ALL!

I am on my own now.

I hate to be alone. I really hate the time when I am sitting all alone, doing nothing except thinking. Which I can never control. My brain is thinking like 24/7 on different things which depends on the situation I am going through. Just few moments back I read something somewhere which grabbed my attention towards myself, yeah! That made me to think what I was and what I am now. Totally different person.

Raised in a small town, lived a fun full life with *friends*. For me, friends were like heavenly given gifts. You can trust them blindly; you can tell them everything that you want to, you can rely on them like you rely on your own shoulders. They are like mirror to you. I read somewhere that the number of friends a person has tells how good that person is. I always used to think that I am some angel; I have a lot of friends. Yeah, I was angel – at least I used to think unless I realized that how wrong I was.

It feels like as if someone is grinding you when someone really close to you break your trust; once and then again and again . You sometime starts ignoring some arguments not for the reason that you are lacking in words or you don’t have enough points to defend yourself. You stop arguing or talking just for the reason that friendship you shared is still that important that you don’t want to ruin it by giving it harsh words. Keeping silence seems to be best option at the moment but it results in a comment from next person “that you are always wrong that’s why you are silent at the moment”. Would not this comment make you think that this person was *ever* been your friend?

Yes, I have realized that what friendship is and I have realized what kind a person is worth enough to be a friend and all the rest, don’t make a difference to me. Not at all. Yeah, that’s me who always longed to have chit chat with others, who always longed to have fun but now the only thing that I like to do is to have a little smile on face and long lasting silence. Yup, I am changed now. I have realized how to live among such people. I have lost myself among them. I act like someone else just for the reason that I can keep the pace and should not let them enough close to me that I start trusting on them *again*. I don’t want to be dependent on such selfish people. I don’t want to dependent an anyone … … AT ALL!

I am on my own now.